A Passing From Turmoil
by Sheleigh
Summary: Obi-Wan deals with affects from Qui-Gon's death.


Title: A Passing From Turmoil  
  
Author: Sheleigh  
  
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi's life a year after the death of Qui-Gon Jinn  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them I borrow them temporarily.  
  
Author's Notes: Don't kill please! I really do like Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui- Gon Jinn. though you may not believe me!  
  
"Knowledge." A sharp slap across the face forced Obi-Wan Kenobi's head to snap to the side. "Do you thirst for knowledge, Obi-Wan? Do you crave it, wish for it, would you do anything for it?"  
  
The tall figure circled Obi-Wan where he knelt.  
  
"What would you do to be a Jedi? Would you kill for it? Would you die for it?"  
  
For the first time, Obi-Wan moved, bringing his head up to stare defiantly at the man that circled him.  
  
"I am Jedi."  
  
"You wish you were Jedi. You do not have the power- the ability to be a Jedi. You are too weak to be Jedi."  
  
The man circled him again. "You wish for power, don't you Obi-Wan? Power to control."  
  
"No, I do not wish for power. I wish to assist, to help."  
  
"You are foolish then. Follow me, Obi-Wan. " The man paused, laughing. "I forgot- you already follow me. You call me Master."  
  
"You are not my Master." Cold blue eyes stared at Obi-Wan.  
  
"But I am- the council has decreed it so. You and I are Master and Padawan. Until your knighting. Until I say you are ready, you follow me. My word is law, Obi- Wan."  
  
"Then I will leave. I will not follow you- nor will I call you Master."  
  
Qui-Gon slapped Obi-Wan again. "You will obey me! I am your Master- and you, Padawan mine, are a slave."  
  
A bitter laugh escaped Obi-Wan. "I am not a slave. And you are not my Master. Qui-Gon Jinn would not hurt me, anymore than he would turn to the darkside."  
  
"Ahh, Padawan, but I am Qui-Gon Jinn. And you will follow me, or you will die."  
  
"Then kill me, for I have no wish to follow you."  
  
"So be it." Qui-Gon ignited his emerald green lightsaber, bringing it to bear on his Padawan Learner.  
  
The blade flashed through the air, heading for Obi-Wan's head, to separate his head from his body. Obi-Wan felt the blade heat against his skin. He closed his eyes, preparing to enter into the Force in peace.  
  
It never reached it's target- Obi-Wan Kenobi had opened his eye's, snapping himself out of the vision he had been trapped in. He looked around the familiar settings- the small room he lived in. His prison- by choice.  
  
Obi-Wan felt the now familiar tremors start to wrack his body. He fought to control them, but was unable to this time. A white clothed healer rushed in, sticking a hypo in his arm. As his world faded to black, Obi-Wan felt a gentle hand being placed on his forehead, urging him into a dreamless, and painless sleep. ****  
  
Yoda stared down at the body of Obi-Wan Kenobi. The scene was quickly becoming familiar- much to the Master's disgust, and horror. The diminutive Master looked towards the healer, and in his garbled speech, asked for a report. The healer sighed and shook her head.  
  
"I don't understand, Master. Obi-Wan is fine- physically. Mentally however." Yoda nodded, accepting this report.  
  
"All right, it will be, Healer Bant." For a single instant, disgust flashed in the Mon Calamari's eyes. Bant bowed towards the Master before turning back to her vigil of her friend and patient. **** Obi-Wan didn't exactly dream. It was more like a meditation only he felt no peace. His thoughts centered, predictably, around his Master. His former Master. The one he loved to no end, but hated for the pain he had put him through. Qui-Gon Jinn had lived the life of a perfect Jedi- and his Padawan had followed obediently.  
  
It had been a year since his Master had died. Now he was a Master, with a Padawan to train. Only he couldn't train the child, because he had no control over his abilities. After killing the Sith on Naboo, Obi-Wan had went to his Master, and held him, promising to train the child- Qui-Gon's chosen one.  
  
Now Obi-Wan dealt with the after effects of having a bond so precious silenced, and torn in a moment. The shock had rattled him to his core; and- for a reason that no one could explain- caused him to lose control of his abilities of control. Oh yes, Obi-Wan Kenobi could still reach for the Force, bend it, flex it to his needs and wishes. That hadn't changed. But he also couldn't block himself from the Force.  
  
The connection between him and the Force had grown to where it physically affected him. It was painful, for it not only physically disabled him, but it also distorted reality. Since Obi-Wan's strength had always lay in the Unifying Force, his trances were so real that he could feel the pain from them- and the wounds would open on his body.  
  
Obi-Wan pulled himself from his thoughts, fearing that another vision may come. The Knight sighed, as he felt the Force wash over him again. Surprise shattered his attempts at not thinking as he felt it pull him firmly into its grasp. It relaxed him, soothed him further, and assured that if he let his mind wander he would not be harmed by visions.  
  
Obi-Wan relaxed further, and allowed his already wandering mind to think.  
  
[I] I never thought that he would do that. After eleven years, he can leave me in a matter of moments. for one that he calls the Chosen One.  
  
Not that I'm bitter- no, I know that the child is special. but he seemed so cold. uncaring as he left me and told the Council he would take the child as his next Padawan Learner.  
  
He didn't try and hurt me- I know he wouldn't do that intentionally- but he did. And he won't talk- he closed the bond off. It has been silent since I disagreed with him.  
  
Disagreement.eleven years together, and he shuts me out because of a simple disagreement? His opinion is expected to be correct, but others are always wrong.  
  
He doesn't understand- the child is dangerous. I have felt it. seen it. But I can't explain that to my Master. he won't listen.  
  
It makes me shudder to think of what the Order will go through. The Force has shown me. But as Master Yoda says- the future is always in motion.  
  
I once tried to explain what I saw to him. He disagreed- telling me that it wasn't my place to speak of the boy's training. I am, after all, a mere Padawan.  
  
Does he still care about me?  
  
Sometimes, I think not. he has been cold. his eyes normally are bright- but when they look upon me. they are cold. uncaring.  
  
He smiles warmly for the child.  
  
It hurts- knowing that my Master would think less of me because of a disagreement. Force knows if that was the case, the whole Jedi Order would shun my Master.  
  
The rogue. The all-powerful Master. The compassionate man. The diplomat.  
  
He is all of these- most certainly a rogue, powerful in both the Force and strength. His compassion is legendary, especially for the "weaker."  
  
Sometimes I wonder if that compassion is the reason he took me.  
  
And of course- the diplomat; the man that is willing to compromise one everything, as long as it has nothing to do with his opinions.  
  
I say that seriously. He does not compromise if his ideals are at stake. This is a case of those ideals.  
  
It hurts. knowing he betrayed, no that isn't quite right, he didn't betray me, he forgot me. Forgot me for the one he calls Chosen.[/I]  
  
Again the Force soothed Obi-Wan. He could feel his body failing- and for the first time in a year he felt at peace and comfort.  
  
****  
  
The instrument monitoring Obi-Wan Kenobi's heart rate flat lined. By the time the healers had reached the room, it was too late.  
  
Obi-Wan Kenobi was dead. 


End file.
